The World of Comedy Has Suffered a Serious Loss

Just in case you missed it...the longest 8 minutes and 40 seconds imaginable.

Anyone who can watch this until the end is either a martyr or...well, a masochist.

The Second Amendment

As passed by the Congress:

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

As ratified by the States and authenticated by Thomas Jefferson, Secretary of State:

A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.

I marvel at how people think they can construe this amendment, in either version, to believe that it authorizes individuals to have and use guns to protect themselves against the tyranny of their own government, the very government that the constitution was in the process of creating.

I have deliberately inserted the word "use" because people have cited their need to be armed against the tyranny of the Obama administration, as if we are living in the dystopia that the founders feared. Really? Are you quite sure of that? Of course, the most reasonable of them would argue, we're not going to start an armed rebellion. We're "just sayin'."

One could ostensibly make a case that the second version, in which the word "state" is not capitalized, refers to the "free state" of the individual citizens, some sort of natural condition. That interpretation is impossible with the original version passed by Congress, which refers to the security of a free State (Nation). And the capitalized Militia in that original version also makes it clear the reference was to an armed citizenry defending the new nation.

Consider the second version. To assume that the founders were granting citizens the right to take up arms against the very government they were creating, without once using the word "tyranny" and without certainly without defining it, is to assume they were idiots. Apparently all that is needed, using this interpretation, is a strong sense of outrage, and a gun, and you can be another defender of liberty like Timothy McVeigh.

It is much more logical, considering the military weakness of the new nation relative to the European powers,  that the founders were more concerned with a citizen Militia to defend the country they were creating than they they were with establishing a right for individuals to overthrow its government from within.

Consider the immensity of our tyrannical government's firepower nowadays. It becomes clear that the 2nd amendment, interpreted thusly, must also grant individuals the right to much more sophisticated military weaponry than a mere AR-47, that is if the well-regulated foes of tyranny are to have any chance at all. I mean, surely the constitution guarantees a fair fight.

The best solution would be to void the 2nd amendment altogether because it would appear to have not been properly ratified. If the version passed by Congress is not the same as that ratified by the states, then the constitutional requirement for amending the constitution would appear to have not been met.

Where Our Values Are

My friend, Fred, sent me this map with the disclaimer that he couldn´t verify it´s validity, but he thought it felt right, and so do I.

I still can´t say with certainty that it is accurate, but I can at least give you a link to the Deadspin.com website where it seems to have come from. I know nothing about this site or about the apparent researcher and author of the accompanying article, Reuben Fischer-Baum.

The only thing I can be sure of is that it has a high truthiness quotient.

How Long Has This Been Around?

Am I naive to be surprised to find this in the user manual of my cell phone?

Make fake calls
You can simulate an incoming call when you want to get
out of meetings or unwanted conversations.
To activate the fake call feature
In Menu mode, select Settings → Applications → Call
→ Fake call → Fake call hot key.
To make a fake call
• In Idle mode, press and hold the Navigation key
down

Gawd, I Love the Onion

SUGAR LAND, TX—Shortly after reports surfaced today that the Boy Scouts of America had voted to lift its ban on gay youths, local homosexual child Max Lovell, 14, told reporters that he was looking forward to joining the organization and finally being ridiculed for another thing. “This is great. I get made fun of every day for being gay, but now I’ll be called a dork, too,” said the enthusiastic Lovell, who is routinely taunted for being homosexual but will now endure everything from light ribbing to vicious name-calling based on his affiliation with the outdoor-preparedness youth group. “It’s perfect because I’ve been looking for a second thing to get mocked for, and Boy Scouts seems like a great fit. I think it’ll really open me up to a whole new batch of cutting insults.” Lovell added that he also “can’t wait” to see what his peers will do when he joins the eighth-grade marching band in the fall.

21st Century Marriage Counseling

The Daily Gun Report

I really like what blogger Joe Nocera is doing with his daily updates about gun violence.

As of last Friday, over 4,150 people have died from gunfire since Newton. Remind me, how many people died on 9/11?

Every day Nocera prints reports from newspapers around the country on the previous day's shootings (or sometimes there is a 2-day lag) , both fatal and non-fatal. Here are a couple of examples:

A woman was shot and killed in Shively, Ky., Thursday night. Police were called to a home on a report of a domestic dispute and found the woman dead. The shooter left the home in a vehicle..

A 50-year-old man was shot multiple times Tuesday night and critically wounded during a fight inside his Rochester, N.Y., residence. Ronald Britt, 50, suffered life-threatening injuries when he was shot several times in the upper body. Officers said it appeared that Britt and another man were arguing when the fight escalated. The shooter ran from the scene.

He also reports on other gun-related developments:

 Yesterday, Maryland’s governor, Martin O’Malley, signed a bill that made the state’s gun laws among the strictest in the nation. Under the new legislation, anyone buying a handgun will have to submit fingerprints to obtain a license. The bill also bans 45 types of assault weapons; gun magazines will be limited to 10 bullets; gun ownership by people who have been involuntarily committed to a mental health facility will be banned; and police will be able to suspend the licenses of gun dealers who fail to comply with record-keeping obligations.

It’s a far cry from the town of Nelson, Ga., which recently passed a law requiring gun ownership. The April 1 ordinance requires every head of household in the town of 1,300 to have a gun and ammunition, but there are exceptions: the law exempts anyone who opposes gun ownership or has certain disabilities.

The Brady Center to Prevent Gun Violence filed a federal lawsuit against the town, which is 50 miles north of Atlanta, claiming the law is unconstitutional. City leaders have said the law was mostly symbolic and isn’t being enforced.According to the Associated Press, the law’s supporters said they wanted to make a statement about gun rights at a time when the president was seeking restrictions in the wake of the Newtown massacre.

Meanwhile, the National Rifle Association has vowed to sue the state of Maryland to get its eminently sensible law declared unconstitutional. Not exactly a surprise.

Or this:

Did you know that the gun lobby doesn’t want you discussing handgun safety with your doctor? In June 2011, Florida governor Rick Scott signed a bill that made it the first state in the nation to prohibit doctors from asking patients if they own guns. Oklahoma, Tennessee and West Virginia all introduced “physician gag law” bills that would restrict physician firearm counseling.