Sad to say, "Car Talk" on NPR is going on permanent hiatus as of October. The good news is that there are 25 years worth of recorded shows that will be recycled. It will seem odd in 2020 to listen to callers whose 1970 Ford Fairlane is making a funny noise, but the automobile information was only a part of the show's appeal anyway.
My favorite "Car Talk" moment came when I was living in a condo in downtown Minneapolis. I was driving home one Saturday and the topic was shock absorbers. They mentioned that the way to tell if you needed new shocks was to push down on the corner of your car and see what happened. If the car simply returned to its previous position, fine. If it continued to bounce once or twice, you needed to replace your shocks.
I pulled into the condo parking lot at the same time as one of my neighbors; he turned left into his parking spot
and I went a little further and turned into mine. Naturally I got out and pushed down on the front corner of my car. As I did so, I glanced up and saw my neighbor doing the same thing on his car.
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Mark Twain and Other Language Questions
Those of you who read this post as an email and don't go to the blog itself are missing out on some clever New Yorker (mostly) cartoons that I post more-or-less daily, and also some occasionally interesting quotations of the day.
Today's offering is from the ever-quotable Mark Twain:
"Faith is believing in what you know ain't so."
Which reminds me of another Twain quote I've always loved:
"Sacred cows make the best hamburger"
And now, back to the matter of language, and the first Twain quotation above. Those of us of a certain age remember that "ain't" ain't a word, but the language changes with time, and now it is listed in my dictionary. My question is: why is it spelled with an apostrophe? Does "ain't" equal "ai not?"
Today's offering is from the ever-quotable Mark Twain:
"Faith is believing in what you know ain't so."
Which reminds me of another Twain quote I've always loved:
"Sacred cows make the best hamburger"
And now, back to the matter of language, and the first Twain quotation above. Those of us of a certain age remember that "ain't" ain't a word, but the language changes with time, and now it is listed in my dictionary. My question is: why is it spelled with an apostrophe? Does "ain't" equal "ai not?"
The Supremes: No Longer at the Top of the Charts
According to a NY Times article,
polling shows the Supreme Court's approval rating is at an all-time
low of 44%.
Despite the difficulty of amending the constitution, perhaps it is time to try again. Obviously I think Scalia, Thomas, Alito and that crowd should have limited terms, and others think Ginsberg and Breyer should be sent packing.
It might be that term limits for SC justices is the only thing the left and the right can agree on. It would be nice if this issue would get some bi-partisan high-profile champions. Perhaps there is even yet some hope for a constitutional amendment.
The public is skeptical about life tenure for the justices, with 60 percent agreeing with the statement that “appointing Supreme Court justices for life is a bad thing because it gives them too much power.” One-third agreed with a contrary statement, that life tenure for justices “is a good thing because it helps keep them independent from political pressures.”Perhaps when people think about it for a little longer than it takes to respond to a poll, they might realize that a lifetime appointment does not make a justice any more independent from political pressures than, say, a ten-year, non-renewable appointment would.
Despite the difficulty of amending the constitution, perhaps it is time to try again. Obviously I think Scalia, Thomas, Alito and that crowd should have limited terms, and others think Ginsberg and Breyer should be sent packing.
It might be that term limits for SC justices is the only thing the left and the right can agree on. It would be nice if this issue would get some bi-partisan high-profile champions. Perhaps there is even yet some hope for a constitutional amendment.
Language Oddities
It is only since living in Brasil and teaching English and trying to learn Portuguese that I have come to see how unimaginative some English words are.
In the first instance, I didn't so much "come to see" as have it pointed out to me by a Brazilian friend who thought "popcorn" showed a complete lack of creativity, compared to the poetic, somewhat alliterative Portuguese alternative of "pipoca."
Since then, with Heitor and I, it has become something of a game to recognize these functional, but extremely prosaic, English words.
Of course, compound words are a normal and useful feature of the English language and the facility with which we can create them is probably even a strength of the language, but sometimes, if you stop for just a split second, you can see the sense in which they appear downright silly, especially in our case here where there is a single Portuguese alternative.
Heitor's personal favorite is "keyhole," and it must seem like a silly word for others as well, because it has given us derivatives like "piehole" and my favorite, "carhole," from the Simpsons, where Moe thought the French-sounding "garage" was just too lah-de-dah.
I also think "keyhole" just sounds silly, but because the Portuguese alternative to keyhole is not really very imaginative either (buraco de fechadura = hole for the lock), my favorite for now is "fireplace." Think about it; how dumb is that?
Some others on our list:
clothesline (ever hung anything there besides clothes?)
afternoon (duh)
backpack (I love the Portuguese alternative of "mochila.")
Your assignment is to keep this in your mind, think about the words you use every day, and add to the list. But, remember, you can't merely select compound words, because there are so many. Try to find ones that seem to you to have an inherent silly factor.
In the first instance, I didn't so much "come to see" as have it pointed out to me by a Brazilian friend who thought "popcorn" showed a complete lack of creativity, compared to the poetic, somewhat alliterative Portuguese alternative of "pipoca."
Since then, with Heitor and I, it has become something of a game to recognize these functional, but extremely prosaic, English words.
Of course, compound words are a normal and useful feature of the English language and the facility with which we can create them is probably even a strength of the language, but sometimes, if you stop for just a split second, you can see the sense in which they appear downright silly, especially in our case here where there is a single Portuguese alternative.
Heitor's personal favorite is "keyhole," and it must seem like a silly word for others as well, because it has given us derivatives like "piehole" and my favorite, "carhole," from the Simpsons, where Moe thought the French-sounding "garage" was just too lah-de-dah.
I also think "keyhole" just sounds silly, but because the Portuguese alternative to keyhole is not really very imaginative either (buraco de fechadura = hole for the lock), my favorite for now is "fireplace." Think about it; how dumb is that?
Some others on our list:
clothesline (ever hung anything there besides clothes?)
afternoon (duh)
backpack (I love the Portuguese alternative of "mochila.")
Your assignment is to keep this in your mind, think about the words you use every day, and add to the list. But, remember, you can't merely select compound words, because there are so many. Try to find ones that seem to you to have an inherent silly factor.
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Mitt Romney Jokes
The right wing may control the debate in American politics, but they at least they must realize they don't have a single funny comedian. Poor consolation for the rest of us, but nevertheless here are some of Bill Maher's recent offerings:
...the Facebook IPO, where regular people got screwed, and the banks and insiders did ok...or, as Mitt Romney calls it, the American Dream.
Mitt Romney does have a point when he criticizes Obama about the country's educational system. We are graduating millions of people in this country who are so lacking in basic analytical skills that they are considering voting for Mitt Romney. As George Bush said, "Our kids is not learning."
Romney's main claim to credibility as a candidate is his business experience at Bain Capital. Then last week he made the mistake of appearing with Donald Trump in Las Vegas, which only reminded people that you can make a fortune in business in America and still be a total fucking idiot.
Pollsters in Florida reported that when you ask people on a cell phone who they're supporting, overwhelmingly they are for Obama. When you ask people on a land line, Romney. Romney also has the support of people who refer to the coffee maker as the percolator and the television remote as the clicker.
Romney has begun vetting his VP possibilities. His campaign is looking for a strong conservative, but someone who will not upstage Romney. So the search is on for a strong conservative in a coma.
Romney, courting Latino businessmen at a luncheon in Los Angeles last week, said he has always had a great relationship with the Latinos....as long as they don't wake him up with the leaf blower.
The media can keep giving oxygen to the story of Trump and the birthers, but they're neglecting a much bigger scandal, which is...wife-ism. Let's face it, Mitt Romney comes from a Mormon background. I don't know how many wives he has, I'm not saying I believe in it, I'm just saying he was born on a Mormon compound. I'm not a wifer, but for some reason he has never shown his original marriage certificate. Again, I'm no wifer, I'm just saying he has the blood of a nomadic, polygamist tribesman and I think that has shaped his world view....and why, on the short form, obviously a copy, of his marriage certificate, which is all that his campaign has supplied does it say "wife" and not "only wife?" I'm just asking the questions that the lame-stream media won't ask about Mitt's unholy harem of obedient sister wives, which I really hope I'm wrong about. By the way, how is it that Mitt and Ann Romney have 5 kids and they're all thirty years old? And you've seen the picture of Mitt pointing to the picture of the Olympic symbol. What is it? Five rings. And what else has five rings? Five wives! And why did Mitt Romney drive to Canada with his dog strapped to the top of his car? Could it have been because his station wagon was full of wives? I'm not saying I believe this wifer stuff. I take Mitt Romney at his word...but how do you explain this video: (use your imagination) "I have the same view on marriage that I had when I was governor and that I've expressed many times. I believe marriage is a relation ship between a man and a woman...and a woman, and a woman, and a woman, and a woman....."
...the Facebook IPO, where regular people got screwed, and the banks and insiders did ok...or, as Mitt Romney calls it, the American Dream.
Mitt Romney does have a point when he criticizes Obama about the country's educational system. We are graduating millions of people in this country who are so lacking in basic analytical skills that they are considering voting for Mitt Romney. As George Bush said, "Our kids is not learning."
Romney's main claim to credibility as a candidate is his business experience at Bain Capital. Then last week he made the mistake of appearing with Donald Trump in Las Vegas, which only reminded people that you can make a fortune in business in America and still be a total fucking idiot.
Pollsters in Florida reported that when you ask people on a cell phone who they're supporting, overwhelmingly they are for Obama. When you ask people on a land line, Romney. Romney also has the support of people who refer to the coffee maker as the percolator and the television remote as the clicker.
Romney has begun vetting his VP possibilities. His campaign is looking for a strong conservative, but someone who will not upstage Romney. So the search is on for a strong conservative in a coma.
Romney, courting Latino businessmen at a luncheon in Los Angeles last week, said he has always had a great relationship with the Latinos....as long as they don't wake him up with the leaf blower.
The media can keep giving oxygen to the story of Trump and the birthers, but they're neglecting a much bigger scandal, which is...wife-ism. Let's face it, Mitt Romney comes from a Mormon background. I don't know how many wives he has, I'm not saying I believe in it, I'm just saying he was born on a Mormon compound. I'm not a wifer, but for some reason he has never shown his original marriage certificate. Again, I'm no wifer, I'm just saying he has the blood of a nomadic, polygamist tribesman and I think that has shaped his world view....and why, on the short form, obviously a copy, of his marriage certificate, which is all that his campaign has supplied does it say "wife" and not "only wife?" I'm just asking the questions that the lame-stream media won't ask about Mitt's unholy harem of obedient sister wives, which I really hope I'm wrong about. By the way, how is it that Mitt and Ann Romney have 5 kids and they're all thirty years old? And you've seen the picture of Mitt pointing to the picture of the Olympic symbol. What is it? Five rings. And what else has five rings? Five wives! And why did Mitt Romney drive to Canada with his dog strapped to the top of his car? Could it have been because his station wagon was full of wives? I'm not saying I believe this wifer stuff. I take Mitt Romney at his word...but how do you explain this video: (use your imagination) "I have the same view on marriage that I had when I was governor and that I've expressed many times. I believe marriage is a relation ship between a man and a woman...and a woman, and a woman, and a woman, and a woman....."
Sunday, June 3, 2012
More About the Cleveland Baseballers
As I was watching the broadcast of the Twins-Cleveland ballgame today, I learned that Cleveland is dead last among all major league teams in attendance so far in 2012. And that despite the fact that they have led the Central Division for most of the season (although they slipped to second a week or so ago).
The leaders in attendance are the Phillies, with nearly 45,000 butts in the seats for every game. Cleveland is within a hair of slipping below 17,000.
In 2011, Cleveland was in 25th place, out of the 30 major league teams, with 22,726 fans/game.
In 2010, Cleveland was last, with 17,435/game (the Yankees were first with 46,491).
In 2009, Cleveland was in 25th place.
In 2008, Cleveland was in 22nd place.
In 2007, Cleveland was in 21st place.
It would be nice if it were possible for someone to make a connection between the name/logo and low attendance, and could show the ball club's owners that the inherent racism associated with the team was costing them revenue. Or at least convince them that a name change and an associated marketing campaign, highlighting the high road they were taking, might be to their benefit.
As regards that high road, it would be typical corporate bullshit, but we'd just have to let them get by with it and, actually, hope it were successful, and their attendance increased. I mean it would be hard for them to stake a claim to high mindedness on this issue, since the club as been in existence since forever. But we could collectively hold our noses and let them project their illusion.
A curious aside: Cleveland's ballpark is named "Progressive Field."
I was fascinated to go to the team website and find a video of their Neanderthal-appearing owner awkwardly reading a statement about the club's commitment to diversity. They also have the following statement on their website.
Talk about corporate bullshit.
If anyone were interested in letting the Cleveland Baseball Club know that this seems mildly hypocritical, the site to go is here.
The leaders in attendance are the Phillies, with nearly 45,000 butts in the seats for every game. Cleveland is within a hair of slipping below 17,000.
In 2011, Cleveland was in 25th place, out of the 30 major league teams, with 22,726 fans/game.
In 2010, Cleveland was last, with 17,435/game (the Yankees were first with 46,491).
In 2009, Cleveland was in 25th place.
In 2008, Cleveland was in 22nd place.
In 2007, Cleveland was in 21st place.
It would be nice if it were possible for someone to make a connection between the name/logo and low attendance, and could show the ball club's owners that the inherent racism associated with the team was costing them revenue. Or at least convince them that a name change and an associated marketing campaign, highlighting the high road they were taking, might be to their benefit.
As regards that high road, it would be typical corporate bullshit, but we'd just have to let them get by with it and, actually, hope it were successful, and their attendance increased. I mean it would be hard for them to stake a claim to high mindedness on this issue, since the club as been in existence since forever. But we could collectively hold our noses and let them project their illusion.
A curious aside: Cleveland's ballpark is named "Progressive Field."
I was fascinated to go to the team website and find a video of their Neanderthal-appearing owner awkwardly reading a statement about the club's commitment to diversity. They also have the following statement on their website.
The Cleveland Indians are committed to developing and maintaining an environment that embraces diversity. We seek to attract, develop, and retain a diverse workforce that brings a broad range of perspectives and experiences to our company. Through supporting an inclusive work environment, we strive to recognize and value the distinctiveness of each employee and to take full advantage of those differences to encourage creativity and innovation, to improve our productivity, while cultivating our acceptance and respect for each other and our communities.
To further this commitment, in the Spirit of Larry Doby, the first African American in American League history and who later was inducted into the National Baseball Hall of Fame as a Cleveland Indian, we are dedicated to the process that diverse job candidates are considered for every position we post. We are committed to finding and hiring the best qualified candidates for each and every position...in the Spirit of Larry Doby.
Talk about corporate bullshit.
If anyone were interested in letting the Cleveland Baseball Club know that this seems mildly hypocritical, the site to go is here.
The Cleveland Baseball Club
How can we still accept a baseball club known as The Indians in 2012, let alone with this logo?
If baseball fans everywhere would boycott the games, it shouldn't take more than a couple of days for the other owners to force Cleveland to make a change. The major responsibility obviously rests with Cleveland fans. Some of them clearly have no shame. I watched last night's game and saw a mother in the stands with a 4-5 year old kid with a decal of this logo stuck on his cheek. Ahhh...teaching values.Native American groups organize protests outside the stadium at the opening of every baseball season in Cleveland, and the fans apparently ignore them and just walk on by.
Some unacceptable alternatives:
After righting this injustice, we can move on to the Washington Redskins.
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