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theonion.com once in a while to see the stories you've been missing.
Mother Surprised Son Needs So Much Ammunition For First Day Of School
Obama Deeply Concerned After Syrians Gassed To Death On White House Lawn
Congress Fiercely Divided Over Completely Blank Bill That Says And Does Nothing
Economists Advise Nation’s Poor To Invent The Next Facebook
David McCullough Wondering How Much Scratch He Could Shake Out Of Frederick Douglass
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