I Kid You Not

Recently I picked up a book that purports to be a catalog of common folk expressions from around the world. Most of them are just not that fascinating, although a few caught my attention and I made a mental note to remember them. Mental note or not, I don't remember any of them. I do recall thinking that the best ones were frequently Russian. In fact the title of the book, "I´m Not Hanging Noodles on Your Ears," is supposedly the Russian equivalent of "I´m not pulling your leg."

A friend here in São Paulo recently used an expression which, after I had him explain it, is a keeper. Carlos is a consultant with U.S. clients who, for the last year, have been exploring the possibility of doing business in Brazil. For some time it has been looking like they were on the verge of deciding against it, but their supposed "go-no" go date of December 15th passed without any decision being communicated. A few days before Christmas, Carlos was talking to his principle contact who said they weren´t going to announce anything until after the holiday. When telling me this, Carlos said "I am pretty sure the cat is on the roof."

By way of explanation, Carlso said this. Imagine you are taking care of someone's house and looking after his cat. One day the cat gets onto the roof of the house and won't come down. Then it starts to rain, the roof gets slippery and the cat falls off and is killed. About that time the owner calls and asks how things are going. And how's the cat? You know he loved this cat and you don't want to come right out and tell him the cat is dead. So you decide to break it to him slowly. "The cat is on the roof."

So Carlos was pretty sure the U.S. company had already made up its mind (and since Corporations are people these days, that is not an anthropomorphism) and didn't want to spoil his Christmas. He was pretty sure the cat was on the roof.

Great as that expression is, none of the three Brazilians with whom I've discussed it have ever heard it before, but Carlos assures me they should have.

Brazil and the U.S. have many expressions that are very similar. Today at lunch Heitor was describing a situation where someone was "caught with his pants in his hands," which as you can imagine is the equivalent of being caught with them down.

As for Carlos and the cat on the roof? It turns out that I was quite prescient. I told Carlos that, even if the clients decided not to come to Brazil at this time, they would want to keep him on retainer in anticipation of the day when they do. Ta da!! (I'm taking a bow now.)

At Least It Doesn't Use Those Fightin' Words: "Happy Holidays"

Three True Things That Are Hard To Believe

The tenth president of the U.S., John Tyler, who was born in 1790, has two grandchildren alive today. If you don´t believe me, go to Snopes.com for confirmation.

The National Football League is a tax exempt, non-profit organization. So, not only does the league pay no taxes, but member teams receive a tax break for the $6 million they pay annually to the league in dues and other fees. I know that some people consider Sunday football a virtual religion, but really. There are plenty of apologists who have offered attempts at rationalization for this, but it is still true that no other professional sports organization has tax-exempt status and the NFL has it only because of some very effective lobbying by Pete Rozelle back at the time of the merger between the NFL and the AFL.

The following amazing video is from NPR. It is a reminder that we can´t legitimately anthropomorpuhize these animals and think of them with our own set of fears. To them, this is life.

The Sound of Dominos Falling

The rapidity with which marriage equality has been gaining legal and public-opinion approval, has been surprising. But it has long been clear that marriage equality was going to win eventually, just because of the demographics. It's biggest opponents, people in my age group, are going to die off (or quit voting because they no longer have Repuplican-required photo IDs).

New Mexico, on Thursday, became the 17th state, along with the District of Columbia, in which same-sex marriages are legal, because of a unanimous ruling by the State Supreme Court. One of the signs of the changing times is that the Republican governor, although on record as opposing same-sex marriage, apparently distanced herself from the legal battle and hasn't commented on the ruling, according to the NY Times this morning. That is similar to how Chris Christie played it in New Jersey.

And then the following day, a Federal District Judge in Utah ruled that Utah's 2004 voter-passed ban on marriage equality was unconstitutional because it denied same-sex couples equal protection under the 14th Amendment.

I particularly love this Utah ruling because of the slap in the face it gives to those people who still like to trot out the argument that this is an issue that needs to be put to a vote of the people, that a judicial decision is somehow less valid. Screw that! Since when do the people get to vote on matters of Civil Rights? What I have read so far gives no indication of how the state of Utah will respond, and what will be the status of the same-sex plaintiffs if the state decides to appeal.

But for now, I'm going to go ahead and count Utah as the 18th fallen domino, and await the outcome of the many similar lawsuits that are pending across the country. All of the pathetic arguments against marriage equality are being shot down one by one, and it is going to be very difficult for judges in other states to ignore the rulings that are accumulating.

Republican Voter Fraud

It has been very well established by now that "voter fraud" is a myth rather than a problem, and that all of the restrictive measures enacted by Republican state legislatures around the country are nothing more than not so sophisticated efforts at voter suppression. Some of their less media-savvy members have been caught on tape admitting as much.

Unfortunately I don't know how much some stories are covered, if at all, by the mainstream media, so I don't know what is already old news by the time it gets to Brazil. Perhaps everyone already knows that Liz Cheney's husband, Phillip Perry, while registering to vote in Wyoming, signed an oath stating that he is not already registered to vote anywhere else, although in fact he is registered to vote in Virginia, where he lives. (Hell, it's where Liz has lived for years and will live once again if she loses in Wyoming.)

As everyone reading this knows, this story is an embarrassment that tends to highlight Liz Cheney's carpetbagger status in Wyoming, but it's not really an example of voter fraud. There is no reason to think Perry ever intended to vote in both states. Most likely he never even considered the fact that he would need to sign such an oath in Wyoming. (I am quite sure that I have never had to do so in all of my moves around the country.) Then, when confronted with the oath, the realization that he had no intent to vote in both states probably, in his mind, justified his signing it. Probably he made a trip to Wyoming for no other reason than to register and, crap!, who wants to do that a second time? Maybe it even crossed his mind to go back and un-register in Virginia.

Who knows? But imagine that Republicans stumbled across a story of some minority voter (it's always a minority with them) registered as a Democrat who had done something similar. They would wear that story out in the press and in key state legislatures around the country, like Reagan and his welfare queen.

One Cheney family member who won't be registering to vote in Wyoming is Liz's sister Mary. And I know everyone is familiar with that story.

In Case You Missed Them

Two Awesome Videos

 Curiously, both of these comics use the concept of time machines in their bits.

The Man Who Has Never Made a Mistake

Remember the press conference several years ago when George W. Bush was asked something to the effect of what was his biggest mistake, and he couldn't come up with an answer. He was pretty sure he must have made some mistakes, but he just couldn't think of one under the pressure of a press conference question his handlers hadn't anticipated.

Well I guess Bush and his Vice President made a really good fit, even if they couldn't stand each other by the end of "their" Presidency. Cheney never made any mistakes either. Wasn't it Cheney who recently justified the Iraq War debacle by saying that at least now we know Saddam didn't have any WMD? No apologies? Ok, he wants to claim he did what he thought was right at the time. I think that is bullshit, but let him have it for now. Couldn't he at least have the decency to have some regrets?.

In the 1980s Congress passed, by a large bi-partisan majority, America's Comprehensive Anti-Apartheid Act. The bill condemned apartheid, called for the freeing of the imprisoned Nelson Mandela, and imposed sanctions against South Africa.  Congressman Dick Cheney was one of the few who voted against the bill. After Reagan (good ol' Mr. Freedom) vetoed the bill, congress overrode his veto. It was the first time in the entire history of the country that a presidential veto on a foreign affairs issue had been overturned.

Cheney, even now, will not admit a mistake or even acknowledge that his vote looks bad in hindsight, even if he believed it was the right vote at the time. "The ANC was then viewed as a terrorist organization. I don't have any problems at all with the vote I cast 20 years ago," Cheney said on ABC's This Week. The man has no class whatsoever.

That Damn Nanny State

While watching last nights Colbert Report, I learned that The Heritage Foundation has described the FDA's proposed ban on trans fats as "an attack on Freedom." I went to their website and verified that assertion. They say consumers can make "informed and voluntary choices" as to whether to consume trans fats.

There is nothing surprising about that, of course. The right wingers have been complaining about the "food police" for some time and asserting their right to choose to eat whatever junk food they want. I mean some of these people got their shorts in a bind when Michelle Obama said we should drink more water. How totalitarian of her!

Have you noticed, by the way, how many things are an attack on freedom to some of these crackpots? Obamacare is an attack on my freedom to hang around the emergency rooms and watch the uninsured ask for help.

Of course most right wingers probably don't eat much junk food anyway, but they want poor people, who frequently have no choice, to...uh...not have that no choice taken away from them.

While watching Colbert, I wondered what the Heritage Foundation had to say about the campaigns around the country to require foods containing GMOs to be labeled. I knew, of course, that most of the right wing fully supported the Monsanto Pary line, but what about the Heritage Foundation? Yep, turns out they did too.

Keep in mind that what was at issue was whether or not to require labeling so that consumers could know what they were choosing (or not choosing). Or as The Heritage Foundation put it in the case of trans fats, so that consumers could make an "informed and voluntary" choice.

So it seems that the Heritage Foundation wants consumers to have a choice, except when they don't want them to have a choice.

I think maybe I'd like to have a little asbestos in my hamburger. I sure wish the nanny state would just get the hell outta the way.

Just More Takers, I Suppose

From Paul Krugman's column today:

 ’Tis the season to be jolly — or, at any rate, to spend a lot of time in shopping malls. It is also, traditionally, a time to reflect on the plight of those less fortunate than oneself — for example, the person on the other side of that cash register. 

 Although the national minimum wage was raised a few years ago, it’s still very low by historical standards, having consistently lagged behind both inflation and average wage levels. Who gets paid this low minimum? By and large, it’s the man or woman behind the cash register: almost 60 percent of U.S. minimum-wage workers are in either food service or sales. This means, by the way, that one argument often invoked against any attempt to raise wages — the threat of foreign competition — won’t wash here: Americans won’t drive to China to pick up their burgers and fries.

I hope he is right about the fact that a majority of self-identified Republicans (57%) and Conservatives (59%) support an increase in the minimum wage. But, heck, he is always right. The only thing his critics can pin on him is his snarkiness, gawd bless 'im.