I Kid You Not

Recently I picked up a book that purports to be a catalog of common folk expressions from around the world. Most of them are just not that fascinating, although a few caught my attention and I made a mental note to remember them. Mental note or not, I don't remember any of them. I do recall thinking that the best ones were frequently Russian. In fact the title of the book, "I´m Not Hanging Noodles on Your Ears," is supposedly the Russian equivalent of "I´m not pulling your leg."

A friend here in São Paulo recently used an expression which, after I had him explain it, is a keeper. Carlos is a consultant with U.S. clients who, for the last year, have been exploring the possibility of doing business in Brazil. For some time it has been looking like they were on the verge of deciding against it, but their supposed "go-no" go date of December 15th passed without any decision being communicated. A few days before Christmas, Carlos was talking to his principle contact who said they weren´t going to announce anything until after the holiday. When telling me this, Carlos said "I am pretty sure the cat is on the roof."

By way of explanation, Carlso said this. Imagine you are taking care of someone's house and looking after his cat. One day the cat gets onto the roof of the house and won't come down. Then it starts to rain, the roof gets slippery and the cat falls off and is killed. About that time the owner calls and asks how things are going. And how's the cat? You know he loved this cat and you don't want to come right out and tell him the cat is dead. So you decide to break it to him slowly. "The cat is on the roof."

So Carlos was pretty sure the U.S. company had already made up its mind (and since Corporations are people these days, that is not an anthropomorphism) and didn't want to spoil his Christmas. He was pretty sure the cat was on the roof.

Great as that expression is, none of the three Brazilians with whom I've discussed it have ever heard it before, but Carlos assures me they should have.

Brazil and the U.S. have many expressions that are very similar. Today at lunch Heitor was describing a situation where someone was "caught with his pants in his hands," which as you can imagine is the equivalent of being caught with them down.

As for Carlos and the cat on the roof? It turns out that I was quite prescient. I told Carlos that, even if the clients decided not to come to Brazil at this time, they would want to keep him on retainer in anticipation of the day when they do. Ta da!! (I'm taking a bow now.)